"My little monster"

Notice the cute (likely a boy) onesie Adalyn has on... Of course mommy added a bow so it was a little more "girlie." Well there is a story behind this onesie. I know shocker right :)! Around this time last year I was picking up a few things at Hobby Lobby for a wedding I was photographing when I came upon this little onesie on clearance for 75% off.  I called Steve and told him I found the cutest little onesie, sent him a picture and asked if I could buy it.  He hardly ever tells me no but this time I remember him saying sure but don't you think you might want to wait? Well something in me looked at that onesie and knew there would be a little body in it one day.  Little did I know only a few weeks after buying "My little monster" was I pregnant with Adalyn.  This reminds me so much of our ambitions and dreams in life.  What are you /I holding back on? I could have easily left this piece of clothing on the shelf and never looked back.  I could have reminded myself that it would take time to get pregnant. Instead,  I went with my gut and I bought this cute little onesie for $2.75.  As I prepare to take on a new adventure with Steve and Adalyn by my side, I want nothing more then the fears that I have to stay deep in the back of my head and the faith I had in getting pregnant would be the same encouragement I keep focused on in this new season of business and life.  

I want to challenge each of you to make goals and dreams! Take a big step (in my case buying this onesie) to help push you forward in those goals and dreams.  Everything doesn't happen over night. Some things take a lot of time for God to work out the details. However, I fully believe that if we put our faith in God, set our minds for success and dream big, no matter how long it takes you will achieve all your life goals/dreams.  I want to get out in the open the goals I have for myself... this way I can hold myself accountable and one day when Adalyn is reading this blog she can be inspired to be GREAT and to work hard like her mommy (and of course her daddy). She can also see what how hard we both worked for her!

Quote of the day (yesterdays sermon) 

" I am today, what I thought about myself yesterday, And I will be tomorrow what I think about myself today"

Dreams:

Worry less and trust more

Be credit card debt free in 2 years

Grow a thriving clothing company

Photograph 1 wedding a month

Have another baby

Live in a two story house (with hardwood floors) pool in the backyard would be awesome

Make enough money to retire my husband from full time work

Build a shower facility for the homeless 

Raise a thriving, active, happy daughter

Love my body 

Write a book

I will close with my favorite two quotes of all time....

"If the size of your dream doesn't intimidate you, its insulting God."

"Hard work beats talent, when talent doesn't work hard."

Happy DREAMING friends!! Let God help you take a HUGE step into the unknown in finding, living and loving your dreams!

3 Month check point!

There are many times in the last 3 months that I have looked at Adalyn and wondered how in the world God allowed me to created someone so perfect.  There are also times I look at Adalyn and think what in the world did I do to deserve this baby I call my own.  This time two years ago I was wondering if happiness in the form of a child would ever come into my life.  Now I have to pinch myself every morning that this sweet face wakes up with a huge smile and a happy to greeting.  Life is funny.  However, I still feel like a failure in my different parts of my life.  As I sit here looking around at my house I see a hot mess from traveling last week, there are baby things everywhere, a laundry basket full of dirty clothes, the kitchen is a hot mess with dirty dishes from dinner last night. {{FAILURE}}!!!  I feel like if I was a good {wife} I'd have everything done and perfect so that when my husband came home from a long day of work he could realize that I did {something}.  That his hard work at a job everyday was for a greater reason and that my hard work at home would prove that! But the truth is not everyday does he realize I did something because a lot of time the house stays the same because I am normally loving a baby, changing a baby, feeding a baby or not MOVING when our baby takes a nap {{these are rare in our life during the day}}.  All these failures I see in my as a wife tend to lend their way into making me feel like a failure as a photographer as well.  Perhaps because I have treated my career as a photographer as a hobby and trying to be "fair" to families who just want good quality images I have marked myself low. I look at images from my last year and even I am amazed at how incredible some of my work has become. But yet I pout when I haven't booked a wedding, when someone hires a different photographer for their 1 year olds cake smash pictures... I feel like a failure when I can't sale a Posh Chunk or lotion.. Those {thoughts} of failures I am starting to learn come from a bit of unnecessary self-doubt. 

Truth is this little girl who is 3 months old today is my GREATEST personal achievement. I remember a year ago (in Nov) going to the OBGYN and being told my sugar was out of control, my baby was in harm if I didn't fix the issues there would be no Adalyn.. I quickly jumped in the "i'll prove you wrong" mind frame.  Adalyn's first 37 weeks of good health was purely because of my willingness to not FAIL. There was no other option then to be successful.  As I get down on myself I try to constantly remind myself of that determination.  Her life is what I need to remind myself to fight to overcoming my failures, my fears of failure, my lack of self-worth I remember her.  Being a momma is tough! Being a business owner is tough! Being a wife is tough! Being all you can be is tough!  But the greatest achievement we can all achieve is believing in ourselves.

Whatever you are struggling with... believing you can overcome that struggle will lead you to the greatest success ever!!